Ask The Expert Archives - Third Factor - Third Factor - Perform, collaborate and lead in a disruptive world

Meet our expert: Karyn Garossino, Associate Trainer

Karyn Garossino is an expert in performance under pressure and leadership development. A former Olympic figure skater and five-time World Championship competitor, Karyn holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology and Adult Education and has spent 40+ years being coached and coaching others. She works with leaders across business and government, teaches with Queen’s Smith School of Business, and helps individuals and teams transform pressure into growth.

“How do you collaborate with someone who is different from you in personality, style, or approach?”

When someone thinks, communicates, or behaves differently than you do, collaboration can feel difficult, frustrating, or even impossible. If handled correctly, however, you can flip these differences into opportunities that benefit both parties. Doing this effectively starts with understanding what collaboration is and is not. Collaboration is not compromise. Collaboration is the act of working with someone to produce or create something. Compromise often means splitting differences and giving up something you value so that each side “meets in the middle.” That’s give-and-take, but it’s often at the cost of optimal outcomes. Collaboration is something quite different. It’s a win-win mindset that grows the pie instead of dividing it. In genuine collaboration, both individuals bring their strengths, expertise, and perspectives to the table in a way that creates a better solution than either person could have produced alone. Collaboration requires:

Assertiveness: the ability to contribute and communicate your own perspective with conviction.
Co-operation: an equal willingness to understand and integrate the other person’s view.

That willingness is essential. Research tells us that the most important factor in leveraging differences is Psychological Safety – meaning people need to believe they can share ideas, ask questions, raise concerns or admit mistakes. So an openness on your part to practice genuine inquiry, rather than defend or persuade, will pay huge dividends. When collaboration works, both parties feel heard, and the result is broader, more innovative and more effective than a simple compromise.

Diversity: The Advantage and the Risk

Differences in personality, style, and perspective are not obstacles; they are assets. Research shows that diverse teams often outperform homogeneous ones because they bring varied perspectives, unique knowledge, and deeper problem-solving capacity. However, diversity only leads to better performance when it’s managed properly. Without effective interactions, differences can amplify conflict, miscommunication, and breakdowns in cohesion. That’s the risk McKinsey and others have highlighted: diverse teams can either perform brilliantly or fail spectacularly depending on how they engage with one another. So the first step in collaborating with someone different is not to wish away those differences; it’s to welcome them, and reframe them as advantages. See differences not as barriers, but as opportunities to expand what’s possible. When someone’s style or perspective differs from yours, that’s not a threat; it’s new data. It’s an invitation to learn something new and explore another approach. To do this, you must be intentional about:

Setting aside your default approach long enough to understand how their thinking works.
Asking questions to truly explore the other person’s priorities, assumptions, and logic.
Active listening, where your goal is to nurture a trusting environment.
Holding both stories as true – yours, theirs – and then creating a shared story together.

One way to think about this is that it is about sitting on the same side of the table as the other person – instead of across the table. This can be either literal (in the case of in-person collaboration), or metaphorical when we are on the phone or virtual. When we try to collaborate while facing off against each other by defending our turf, comparing our solutions, or debating who’s right, we create an us-versus-them dynamic. That’s not collaboration, it’s negotiation. Instead:

Position yourself with the other person, not opposite them.
Focus together on the problem, not on each other.
Use a shared surface (whiteboard, document, screen) where both contributions and perspectives are captured and visible.

Sitting side by side helps shift your brain out of opposition and into shared exploration. It also signals a partnership orientation: “We’re in this together.” Pair this with curiosity-based questions like:

“How do you see this unfolding?”
“What matters most to you here?”
“What’s your biggest concern?”
“Where might we be missing something?”

These shifts – mindset first, then practical behaviour – are how collaboration becomes real. And yes, this takes time and self-management on your part. However, productive results and improved relationships will be your reward.

Key Takeaways:

Collaboration ≠ Compromise. It’s Expansion. If you’re “meeting in the middle,” you’re probably shrinking the outcome. Real collaboration grows the pie by combining strengths, not trading them off. The goal isn’t to protect your idea, it’s to create a better one together.
Differences Are Data, Not Disruptions. When someone’s style or thinking throws you off, that’s not friction, it’s information. High-performing teams treat difference as an input to improve the solution, not a hurdle to overcome.
Psychological Safety Is the Multiplier. Diversity only pays off when people feel safe to speak, question, and challenge. If you’re defending or persuading, you’re shutting down performance. If you’re curious and inquiring, you’re unlocking it.
Get on the Same Side of the Table, Literally and Mentally. Opposite sides create opposition. Side-by-side creates partnership. Shift your posture, share the surface (whiteboard, doc, screen), and aim your energy at the problem, not the person. It’s a simple move that changes the whole dynamic.

Meet our expert: Garry Watanabe, Principal Trainer & Sport Lead

Garry Watanabe is an expert on coaching and performance under pressure. A former corporate lawyer, Garry spent eight years as an elite swimming coach in Southern California, has a Master’s Degree in Sports Psychology, and has worked with thousands of executives in organizations like Deloitte, RBC, and Acuity Brands. As Third Factor’s sport lead, Garry supports the performance of Olympic and Paralympic athletes, and teaches at UNC Chapel Hill and Queen’s University.

“What is the difference between leadership and coaching?”

This is such a great question. These two terms are thrown around a lot and often used interchangeably. Here’s how I think about it. Leadership is what you do and say to help a group of two or more people stay focused and motivated as they move toward a common goal. You play a role in choosing that goal and providing the direction and energy to get there. Coaching, on the other hand, is different. The word “coach” comes from Kocs, a town in Hungary famous for making horse-drawn carriages – vehicles built to carry people from where they are to where they want to go. That’s what a coach does too: helps someone travel from their current state to their desired destination. Here’s an example to illustrate the difference. Suppose you believe whitewater rafting is a transformative experience — one that tests personal limits, builds trust, and sparks pure joy. You think everyone should experience it at least once. So, this summer, you decide to make it happen for the community of people around you. You share your vision: why it matters, how exhilarating it will be. You enlist people in your adventure, pull together teams to plan and execute. You keep the idea alive when energy dips, refocus the group when distractions arise and keep the momentum moving forward That’s leadership. Now imagine a different scenario. Someone comes to you. They’ve always wanted to go whitewater rafting but never made it happen. Maybe they’re hesitant — unsure where to start, or even intimidated. You help them explore why this matters. You work with them to identify realistic next steps. You talk through what’s holding them back — fear, time, uncertainty — and how they might move past it. You offer encouragement, check in, and hold them accountable as they move toward the goal. That’s coaching.

The insight: It’s about who chooses the destination

Leadership is about having a vision, enlisting others, keeping the group on course and sustaining motivation on the journey. Coaching is about helping someone clarify their destination, navigate their obstacles, and keep going when the waters get rough. Is there overlap? Of course. Am I missing something? Almost certainly. Both leadership and coaching are about movement – helping people go from here to there. The question is: who chooses the destination?

Key Takeaways:

Leadership is about setting a vision, mobilizing people, and sustaining group motivation toward a shared goal.
Coaching focuses on helping an individual move from where they are to where they want to go: clarifying goals, removing barriers, and offering support.
Leadership involves choosing direction and rallying others; coaching helps someone articulate their own destination and progress toward it.
Both involve movement and growth, but differ primarily in who defines the goal.